


Whine Heir

by KatastrophicTodd



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Superman (Comics)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-17
Updated: 2018-01-26
Packaged: 2019-02-16 06:45:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13048656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KatastrophicTodd/pseuds/KatastrophicTodd
Summary: In which Jason's published book gets the family together.





	1. Published Dork

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta read by the incredible nessaray. This beautiful person saved my life!

In retrospect they should have left the foreign town as soon as he had signed the last copy of his book.

Stephanie was chattering while they approached the expensive-looking restaurant, her arm laced with his. She was the only one that had finally made it to Metropolis for the signing event.

“I swear I almost cried when you read aloud the poem… what was it called, Jay?” he had blushed and tried not to look at anyone in the bookstore, bearing his deepest thoughts to some random people of Metropolis.

“The Peaceful Night” he answered “Suppose we Dead Robins can relate, uh?”

“Yeah, even if I just _kinda_ died” she poked him with her elbow, _his_ poetry book cradled against her chest with the opposite arm “I know this sound really judgmental, but I can’t believe you, the Red Hood, are the same guy who has written a poetry book…” she opened it with a little difficulty and checked the last page “ 253 pages long and published it under a stupid pseudonym”

He snorted “Well, at least I got published” he bit a smile when he eyed the name on the cover _Whine Heir_.

“Just so you know, I don’t find you whiny”

“That wasn’t the pun” he said exasperatedly.

“I know, but if you’re a little shit I get to be too” she stuck out her tongue. The guy at the restaurant door eyed them weirdly, but neither of them paid attention to him “Cassandra Cain booked our table, the names Brown, Stephanie Brown” Stephanie faked that irritating uptown Gotham accent. Jason almost snickered. The guy in the bowtie straightened up and stuttered, clearing his throat and looking at the stupidly giant book. Hadn’t they heard of tablets? Jason rolled his eyes and scoffed. The poor man gulped, looking up at him. Yeah, Jason was a big, intimidating guy. Runs in the family, he supposed.

“Of course, Miss Brown” he led them inside “Will Miss Way- Cain join us tonight?”

“Not today, I’m afraid” Stephanie sighed dramatically “At least I’m well accompanied”

“Right, right” the guy eyed him again “A pleasure to have you, Mister…”

“Head. Jason Head” he made sure to brace the syllables in the British way and Jason enjoyed the whole three seconds that took for him to make the connection. He paled and tensed “We would want to eat today if it isn’t a bother?” oh, poking at the guy was _fun_. Jason sort of understood the perks Bruce found on his Brucie Wayne persona.

But karma sure was a bitch. A huge bitch.

“I could go all night with this ridiculous accent” Stephanie sniffed once they had sat on their table, way too big for just the two of them.

“Then do it, I also need to practice my British accent. I was thinking about reading Hamlet with Alfie” he hummed. Why not? They had already two lives. It wouldn’t matter if they pretended to be someone else entirely for a couple of hours, right?

“That’s why you’re my favorite, young man”

“I’m older, and Tim is literally your boyfriend”

“First, you don’t know that because we don’t know how much time you spent dead. And second, putting your boyfriend before your friends isn’t right”

“I’m really flattered” Jason smiled, sincere for once.

Their banter went on easily, Stephanie picking up the book and reciting quotes she enjoyed while they ate. Jason trying to shut her up changing the subject and failing. He checked his phone again, in case someone needed him.

“Stop worrying, you know Bizarro and Cass are doing great on patrol” she kicked him in the shin.

“Ouch. Unladylike” he joked and sighed “Yeah, you’re right. It’s just weird just hanging out”

“And that’s exactly why you-“

“Excuse me, Miss Brown, Mr. Head, there’s been an awful turn of events” the poor man was even sweating “I-it seems this table was already booked and…”

“Already booked” fake accent slipping for a moment. Jason frowned “Who could have…?”

“Jason?” a very familiar voice said. Jason cringed.

“Stephanie?” oh, my God. Was it _parental figure day_ in Metropolis? Stephanie looked pale in front of him, staring right over his shoulder. He would not turn. He would not turn. He would not turn.

He took out his phone and typed like Darkseid was on his toes. Stephanie’s phone beeped on the table.

_Hide the fucking book._

“I was just telling Mr. Head that we would be happy to give them any other table in-“ that man didn’t know when to shut up. God.

“Mister _Head_?” Bruce’s voice showered him in waves of disapproval, but what _Brucie’s_ voice said next was even worse “There’s no need to make them leave, they are family after all.  There’s enough space for the six of us, right son?” Bruce’s hand touched his shoulder lightly, making him tense immediately. Wait. Wait, six?

Jason finally turned. Almost bumping into Bruce’s Armani suit.  He was sure it cost more than a family needed to survive for a week. Hell, maybe even a month. Beside him was a very curious-looking Selina Kyle, dressed to kill every man’s heart in the room. Always black. Classy. But, oh, the good thing was _behind_ the pair. Fucking Clark Kent and Lois Lane, holding hands and looking unsure.

“Steph, honey, weren’t you dating the other son? The cranky-looking one?” Selina looked honestly confused for a moment, and then her smile spread “Are you with _both_?”

“Oh, my God. _Shut up_ ” Stephanie slapped her face in embarrassment. It looked like the restaurant guy had finally realized he wasn’t meant to _be_ there and ran to bring some menus and more wine.

Bruce, the fucking bastard, had the guts to sit beside him, Selina between him and Stephanie, who rapidly took the book out of the table. Lois sat finally to his left, offering her hand.

“Lois Lane, pleased to meet you” she smiled. Okay, may now he understood why Damian was hanging out so often with Jon. His mom was great.

“Ah, um… Jason, Jason Todd” he couldn’t even lie to her. Damn, she was just as good as Alfred.

“Oh” she eyed pointedly at Bruce, a spark of something hard passing through her eyes. Jason cleared his throat and looked over at Selina, seeing her and Stephanie argue while whispering.

“Selina” he called, her head turned to him, cocked to the side, cat-like. A predator “Always a pleasure to meet you. How was that feline exposition, the other day?”

“Productive” she smirked “How’s your friend? The big one?”

“He’s fine. You got him spooked” Jason said disapproving, if he talked he could almost ignore the intent stare Bruce had set on his face. Selina just shrugged.

The table fell silent. Jason could even hear how Clark adjusted his glasses, fingers tapping on the tale. His blood pressure was rising. He needed to get-

His phone blared in his pants, classic rock getting out the speakers. Jason frowned.

“Yes?” he picked it up. He thought about getting up and leaving, but Stephanie was already throwing murderous looks at him.

“Red Him ok?” Bizarro sounded worried. And that worried Jason.

“Yeah, why? Is something wrong, Biz?” there was a tightness in his throat. He had left him alone… well, with Cass, but…

“Bizarro heard Red’s heartbeat really fast. Red Him okay?” Biz insisted. Jason hummed, nonchalant.

“Don’t worry, big guy, just family business” Biz gasped a little.

“Batman there” here whispered, as if Bruce could hear him. He probably could “Is Red’s dad taking Red away?”

“What? No. No, Biz. It’s… it’s okay” he could _feel_ the bastard at his right arching an eyebrow “Go back to work as take care of Cass” he chastised.

“Black Her cheating at tag” he whined.

“Go” Jason waited until he hanged up.

“Do you have a kid?” Lois asked, flabbergasted. Stephanie snorted loudly across him. He kicked her. Traitor.

“Ouch”

“No, Bizarro is my partner. In the Outlaws” he clarified. They fell silent again.

Restaurant Guy came in that moment, and Jason could have kissed him right there. He served the wine and retired when the two pair made their orders.

“So…” no, shut up, shut up. No. “What are you two up to?” Bruce said and took a deliberate sip of the cup.

“Nothing” both of them said. Too quickly.

“They’re lying” Clark said.

“Wow. _Genius_ ” Jason barked and started eating his food as fast as he could without puking. Bruce looked at them unimpressed.

“We were celebrating, we closed big case together” Stephanie kept on lying, drinking from her cup.

“In Metropolis” Bruce stated “You haven’t left Gotham in months. You have your finals”

“Dammit” he could hear Steph whisper against the glass between her lips.

“What brings us again to the start. Why are you two here?”

“And why is Jason so dressed up” Selina rested her head on her left hand arching her eyebrows at him. Bruce looked him over again and hummed, agreeing. Both looking at him with the same expression. Gross.

“Stephanie, we’re leaving” Jason said pointedly, Steph looked relieved and got to her feet even faster than Batman could.

“Bye, losers” Steph waved, setting off to the exit.

“Ladies, it was a pleasure” he looked particularly in Lois’ direction, Selina was having far too much fun with all of this “Dad” he scrunched up his nose and followed Steph.

“I’m _right here_ ” he heard Clark say indignantly. Jason didn’t falter.

Once they got out he could feel his fingers twitching, searching for a cigarette to light. He fisted his hair with both hands and grunted. Stephanie eyeing him with a pained expression.

“That was the worst” she declared, following him to the car. It was Cassandra’s, she had lent it to him, because he couldn’t drive all the way here in the motorbike, dressed in a suit and with a beautifully dressed up Stephanie. Stephanie had counted more in the decision.

It wasn’t until they could see Gotham on the horizon, music filling the air and the Mercedes roaring that Stephanie talked to him.

“Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, _fuck_. I’m sorry, Jay” she looked really nervous.

“What?” he looked at her “Stephanie, _what_?”

“The book” she rummaged through her purse desperately, in hopes she could wish it into existence “She _took_ the fucking book”


	2. Chaos Happens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whatever poems are here are mine. I promise you that in my head, Jason's writing is hugely better than mine.  
> Enjoy!
> 
> Beta read by nessaray <3

_I_

_Died_

_Lied_

_Cried_

_In that order? Maybe not._

_Cried (he accused me of the worst, of what I hadn’t done)_

_Lied (to them, because it hurt, it fucking hurt)_

_Died (inside, what’s left to live for when who you love hates you?)_

_Did I get it right? Maybe for once in my life? What came after was even worse_

_Lied (in the cold, hard ground)_

_Cried (I was hurting, broken, ruined)_

_Died (the laughs felt like blows, he hadn’t come)_

_But all comes to the start:_

_Died (to the world, to the ones I thought had loved me)_

_Lied (to myself, I thought I had mattered)_

_Cried (no one would hear, I’d burnt all bridges)_

 

 

Cass tried to read again the poem alone. It was simpler than others, but her brother had always been wordy. She had gone to the kitchen and asked Alfred for help, the old butler delighted to be of assistance but Cass was starting to think it hadn’t been the best choice. She knew, the minute he read the poem Alfred knew who wrote it. Waves of pride and devastation rolling off him. His face had contorted in a heartbreaking way, his trembling hand had gone up to his mouth and then to hold the book with utmost care.

“When?” his watery eyes had met her, lines forming at the corners because he was smiling.

“This morning” she had given him the book, not before he had explained to her some expressions and words and had gone to Jason’s safe house to steal another one. He had been already sleeping.

Cass knew he was hurting, she knew that was why he didn’t want their family to know about his book, what it contained, what it would tell about him. She frowned for the tenth time at the title ‘ ~~Sorry~~ that I Let You Down’. But she couldn’t help a little smirk every time she read the two lines on the first page:

_To Black, Purple and friends_

_Fuck you, Dad_

She didn’t like the rawness of that first poem, she knew Jason put it first like a slap in the face for anyone who knew him and was reading it. He knew Bruce would find out eventually, he wanted it to hurt and show his side. Cass rolled her eyes, her family was incapable of talking things out.

She stayed in the house and heard him sleep, she smiled at the peaceful expression on his face. He was little. Her little brother. She would protect.

Cass turned around in fighting stance, but it was just Bizarro, getting out of his room, he was frowning, but relaxed when he saw her. He yawned and silently greeted her before going back to bed.

Lately, there were even more who would help her protect.

 

 

Selina Kyle stretched in her bed, the man beside her snoring lightly, a little frown between his eyes. She sighed, not even peaceful in his sleep. He had been tense and agitated since the kids had left the restaurant. The three of them had engaged him in conversations, but they could see through the lies that he was deeply distracted. His fingers had twitched and got to his phone, unlocking it and going through the contacts just to locking the device again.

She huffed and pouted, he hadn’t wanted to play or do anything really, not even in bed. He had even drank a little. Selina didn’t think much about it, she knew Jason was a sore spot, whatever he did seemed to drive them even further apart.

She got up and to the living room, adjusting Bruce’s shirt around her frame, and picked her purse up. The book she had taken remained untouched. She had thought about commenting it to Bruce, it had seemed funny, with the way the kids had wanted to hide it. Now she wasn’t so convinced.

Going through the pages left her there with guilt, the sensation you got when you went through somebody’s diary. But this was deep and raw and she felt sick, because she just knew who had written it. A kid who felt neglected and inferior. A boy who had died alone, who had come back and thought he had been expendable, like some tool in Bruce’s utility belt. Someone who thought Death was more forgiving than living with the knowledge that you had meant nothing.

And Selina could relate, she had felt that way years ago, she had also been on the streets, she’d been alone. But, God, he was so mistaken here. Bruce loved him, so deeply that Selina had seen him holding his breath whenever they had been patrolling and Jason had appeared four or five rooftops ahead. Bruce would stop and stare. She had seen him snorting softly when he read a joke in Jason’s reports. She had seen him spying on Jason one time Stephanie had arranged a date with one of her classmates. _He’s too young_ , he had said. Selina had pushed him out of the roof, Batman too preoccupied checking his son with the binoculars.

Bruce kept a photograph of Jason in his wallet and another one dressed up as Robin in his utility belt. They had talked a couple of times about how Jason refused to open up to them. Well, to _him_.

Selina just understood, like Bruce never could. When you’re on the streets, the only protection you have is your fists and your distrust. You only opened up to those you _knew_ wouldn’t ever fail you. Or betray you. And Jason felt that way. He had woken up alone, he had been MIA for years and when he came back he found another Robin, his murderer alive. Selina knew Bruce’s rules, knew why he wouldn’t kill.

But they were street kids. You didn’t betray your friends or family. If someone you loved was murdered you did you damn best to assure the fucker suffered and didn’t get away with it. Killing was a possibility. It had to be, because out there people wouldn’t hesitate to open you up from the groin to the neck. Out there, people were raped, kids were beaten up and pushed into prostitution, psychos were waiting in the shadows for you to fuck up and go somewhere dark alone. Clowns murdered children.

“Shit” she wiped her eyes and took a deep breath. She was _not_ crying. Damn.

 

_Don’t taint my Darkness, don’t use your Light_

_It burns and hurts, its sharpened edges cut to shreds_

_My peaceful night_

It was a three-page long poem, explaining how Death was kinder to him than the living. How he would have been happier two feet under the soil, by the hand of a beautiful punk girl, as he described _her_.

Selina hadn’t really looked at Jason, she had been looking at him through Bruce’s eyes and reactions. She hadn’t even thought about how he had been. How Death and resurrection had affected him.

 

_Forgetting is so difficult when you have no distraction_

_Smoking brings unwanted memories_

_Drinking brings anxiety and fear to the five-year-old in me_

_Drugs are like the dead cold hands of Mom on my face_

_Music hits a little too close to home now_

_The city brings them to me, like salty water attacking my eyes_

_Grampa wouldn’t take my side_

_And I feel so alone in this city full of people_

_Like a whiny little kid who can’t have a hug_

_Because there’s_

_No_

_One_

“Selina? What’s wrong?” his voice makes her shiver. And any other night she would take him to bed and pretend she wasn’t crying. He would say nothing, just like she let him have his battles alone. But this wasn’t her, this was a child abandoned, a boy who had no one but a paper to talk to.

She turned around with fire in her eyes and looked at the concern on Bruce’s face, prepared to act. Always afraid.

She threw the book at his fucking face. The vicious anger only grew in her when he simply caught it with his left hand.

“Get your shit together, Wayne” the icy tone only made him frown more “And talk to your fucking kid”

She stomped to the bedroom and closed the door with a heavy noise.

 

 

There were a couple of peaceful minutes when Jason woke up in which he felt content and satisfied. Then he frowned a little, remembering the mess of the previous night and sighed. He would have gone back to sleep if Cass hadn’t appeared standing by his bed, putting his phone on his face.

“Notifications” she said and left, presumably to the living room.

He groaned when he saw his agent had called him five times. It was just 9 AM. Well, they’d have to wait for him to have caffeine and not a need to smash something due to irritation. He had a text from Stephanie that just read _Instagram_.

“Huh” he shrugged and opened the app, and a ton of notifications me him. Strange. He had a text in one of the chats. It was from Stephanie. They usually communicated via Instagram chat, it was the only thing Oracle or Bruce didn’t bother to hack.

The message was a post from @BruceTWayne. A photograph, a little grainy of two pyjama clothed crossed legs and on them, there was a hauntingly familiar book. The caption read:

**I am truly proud @NotAWayne**

Jason cursed and read it five times. Yeah, he had done that. With his real username and all. He wanted to die. Or kill somebody. The pic was posted at 4:31 AM, had 99,752,023 likes and even more comments. Jason was really, truly fucked.

Why, God? Why _him_?

He went to his notifications and scrolled through the ones of people following his Instagram or liking his three pics. And there it was.

@BrownieSteph mentioned you on @BruceTWayne ‘s post: @NotAWayne i’m so so so so sorry

@FlyingGrayson mentioned you on @BruceTWayne ‘s post: @NotAWayne ???????????

@FlyingGrayson mentioned you on @BruceTWayne ‘s post: @NotAWayne Is this what I think it is???????? T^T OMG

@FlyingGrayson mentioned you on @BruceTWayne ‘s post: @NotAWayne <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

@HeirofGotham mentioned you on @BruceTWayne ‘s post: @NotAWayne Inconceivable

@DrakeTimber  mentioned you on @BruceTWayne ‘s post: @NotAWayne am i hallucinating agangb?

@DrakeTimber mentioned you on @BruceTWayne ‘s post: @NotAWayne thoughgt i be th #1 to publis A bok

@DrakeTimber mentioned you on @BruceTWayne ‘s post: @NotAWayne proud tho

@CassCainWayne mentioned you on @BruceTWayne ‘s post: @NotAWayne @BruceTWayne @BrownieSteph @FlyngGrayson @HeirofGotham @DrakeTimber HUSH

And they had hushed, but the whole Gotham City, hell, the whole world had raged in the comments. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

Cassandra just looked at him getting around shock, fear, wariness, acceptance and defeat. She came to him with a big Star Wars mug with coffee and angled his head so their eyes would connect. She was so tiny. But fierce.

“I’m proud” she strengthened her grip when he tried to look away “You are not alone, not whiny. Not dead. Bruce and Steph and Biz and Artemis are proud. And here” she looked right through him, making sure he listened and understood. She nodded slightly and sat again on the counter “Where’s Artemis?”

“She said something about Circe fucking her people or something. She didn’t want us involved in magic” he huffed, still bitter about the topic.

“Still here” Cass eyes him pointedly, hand placed above her heart. The fucking sap. She arched her eyebrow, almost reading his mind.

The phone started ringing in his hand. Instagram had disappeared and his agent’s number was staring at him.

“Hello-“

“You, whatever your _real_ name is, _didn’t tell me_ you had a connection to the Wayne family” Lucille’s kind voice was angry, really angry. Angrier than a middle-aged woman from Metropolis should be. She almost sounded Commissioner Gordon levels of anger.

“I’m uhhh sorry, wrong number?”

“Don’t you da-“

“Rude” Cass said when he hung up.

“Fuck, Cass, fuck off” he was fuming “Do you know what this means? I’m getting tied to a civilian identity. A Wayne civilian identity!”

The phone rang again.

“ _Wrong fucking number!_ ”

“Do watch your tongue, boy” icy, british, female. Hell.

Talia.

“Um”

“That’s all? Um?” he almost could see her perfectly shaped eyebrows going up her forehead in distaste.

“Long time, T”

“I was calling to congratulate you on your… success” the way she said it made it feel whatever but a success “I should have imagined you would dive into the black hole of poetry, you were always very emotional”

“Thanks?” he said, unsure. She hummed.

“Your father must have been out of his little mind with his move this morning” she said, disgusted “Reckless and stupid move. He’ll have the press clawing at his throat with questions”

“And? What does this mean to you?”

“I do care for you, Jason. But who would have to be under the constant questioning would be the weak, as to speak, members of the family”

“Damian” he could understand.

“I do believe he could bear the nuisance, but I’d like to spare him” she said matter-of-factly “I already came up with a story for the miraculously alive Jason Peter Todd”

“Talia” his tone was strained “Do-“

“I already filtered the information, my dear. I’m just warning you about it. This is good for-“

“Oh, fuck off. We know why you do this” he spat.

“Be careful, child. I do love you, as I love Damian. I’ve raised you and given you whatever you would need in your self-deprecating, suicidal crusade. But I will not allow you to speak to me in such ways” she took a deep breath and waited for him to talk. The weight of her silence was worse than bat-stare.

“Sorry, Tals” he said through gritted teeth and then paused “Have… have you read it?”

“Of course. It was enlightening” she said lighter “I do share your idea of women’s superiority”

“I didn-“

“Hush, child” she was… amused? “I did enjoy it, that’s why I sponsored the publicity of the book. I’m sure your father will be clearly disappointed I beat his to it”

“He's not-“ she hung. Right. Couldn’t stand a blatant lie.

“Little brother” Cass sounded tense “Come”

And he did. And it was a never-ending _hell_. Gotham News was on the TV.

**Long lost Wayne heir?**

The worst, though?

Talia had given the information to Vicki fucking Vale. This exclusive wouldn’t die anytime soon.


	3. Necessary Evils

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jason figures he has to do something giving the unwanted attention he's getting from the media.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit shorter but I'll be writing more frequently, so...
> 
> Hope you enjoy this!
> 
> And feel free to comment suggestions for the storyline because nothing is outwardly planned, just the main concept.
> 
> Beta read by nessaray

His hands were sweaty when he entered the over-illuminated TV set and took a seat where the hostess told him to.

He breathed in and out, very slowly. He was doing this.

He was going to die once he came back to Gotham.

“I have the honour to introduce you to today's guest: Wayne family's prodigal son, Jason Todd!” the blonde woman smiled to the cameras and Jason gave a crooked smile, getting his act together.

“Thanks for having me tonight, Laura” Jason turned to look at her instead of the cameramen and the audience.

“I must say it is a surprise that you chose our city and our program to talk publicly for the first time since the news reached the press” she arched a brow. He honestly had just wanted to escape Vicki Vale for as long as he could.

“Well, we all know Gotham bears and uses perfectly these types of information, but the Wayne family owns an eighty percent of the city” he cleared his throat “I wanted fresh air and polite reporters. I don’t know if you’ve seen their shows, but they are ferocious and always digging for you to make a wrong move”

“Oh, I’ve seen them” Laura placed a lock of hair behind her ear, talking with a disgusted tone “Could it be also a way to get back at your father? Granting an interview in the city that’s considered to be Gotham’s eternal opposite?”

“Oh, yeah. Totally. I live to do things that make him uncomfortable” Jason smiled blindingly at the closest camera. _Suck it up, B._

“I see” the reporter was clearly delighted with Jason’s forwardness “Would you say you have a bad relationship with Bruce Wayne?”

“I mean, is there any person my age that doesn’t have problems with their parents?”

“Who is the member of the Wayne family with whom you have the better relationship?”

“I would say Alfred and Cass” he scratched the back of his neck “Alf will always be my favourite, and it’s literally impossible to not like Cassandra”

“What about your brothers? Don’t you get along with them?”

“I’d prefer we left them out of this interview” he pressed his lips and tried not to clench his jaw. Laura hummed.

“These past days there’s been a lot of information about you and whatever happened during these last _five_ years. Could you tell us what’s true and what’s fake?” things were getting serious.

“Right” he moved in his seat, trying to get a better position searching his mind for the details Talia made up so the story would work out “Bruce and I went to Ethiopia on a business trip. I remember he suggested I stay in the manor, but I was a big-headed brat and refused to let him go alone. You have to understand I had born in Crime Alley, Gotham was pretty much everything I’d seen of the world”

Laura nodded, listening. Everyone else was silent.

“I wandered a bit because, as I mentioned, Bruce had to care for other things. It’s the story of my life, really. Whenever I get something good I lose it. There were some terrorist attacks and I got caught in the crossfire”

“What happened then? Why didn’t you come back?” Laura distracted him from the image in his head. His phone beeped on his pants.

“Sorry” he checked it. Bruce. He silenced it “Umm. I woke up with amnesia, which is a cliché, I know. But I can tell you it wasn’t any fun.  You don’t know who you are, you just know how to talk and move but you feel like an impostor. I was lucky because I knew various languages. I was a total bookworm, believe it or not.”

“But how did you survive?” Laura had gotten caught up in the story. Good. If she believed him the audience would too.

“I grew up on the streets, I learned pretty soon how to steal and lie. In fact, it was Batman the one who caught me stealing the tires off the Batmobile” Jason huffed a laugh, all faces astonished.

“Wait a second” Laura gestured with her hand “You stole the Batmobile’s tires? You met Batman?”

“I had three off and was working my way through the fourth one when he arrived” Jason conceded.

“But, what did _he_ do?” she looked concerned “He didn’t attack you, did he?”

“What? No, no. Man, you really have a distorted image of him around here” Jason didn’t know Metropolis hadn’t noticed Batman’s soft side for kids “He was really impressed when he saw a tiny and malnourished boy attempting to steal from him. I thought he would take me to the police of something so I hit him”

“You hit the Batman?”

“With the tire-iron. He caught me eventually and gave me food and tried to help me out until Bruce adopted me” he clicked his tongue.

“Wow, so he _has_ a soft spot” she looked at the camera like in The Office.

“I guess”

“Right. So what happened after? How did you come back?” she got back to the topic.

“I wandered, I don’t know for how long. And then Talia found me” he stopped himself from making a face, he hadn’t forgiven her yet.

“Your brother Damian’s mother?”

“Yes, she usually travels through Asia and Africa on business trips” he massaged his temple “I’ve never known if she recognized me, I just know she helped me out and brought me to Europe. She took care of me and gave me medical treatment in case I could remember anything. It wasn’t until I saw a newspaper in Germany that it all came back to me. Bruce was on the front page” this was shit because it had happened exactly like that.

_I was dead. DEAD._

_He murders me and he lets him LIVE._

There were times when he just could hear the pit in his head, cursing through his veins. Repeating every hateful word and thought that led him to try and murder his family. He would not cry while on television, dammit.

“I get it was hard?” she patronized him.

“Oh, you have no idea” he gulped and smiled coldly, the phone in his pants vibrating constantly “It’s one thing to not remember who you are and wondering how come your _family_ isn’t searching for you. But when you remember everything so suddenly and find out your father figure has replaced you with a younger, richer and less problematic version… you get _very_ unpleasant thoughts”

“Did you try to…?”

“Kill myself? Yeah” he answered right away.

“I was going to ask if you tried to contact them” Laura seemed calm, but Jason, any Bat, could tell when someone was lying. She pitied him. It was disgusting.

“I didn’t. It wasn’t until Talia accepted to run LexCorp and I followed her that one of the family members saw me” he shrugged “There was a lot of chasing and blaming and serious falling outs. The girls came, we started to hang out and I got to see Alfred. We all reconciled recently. Sort of”

“Have they read your book?” Laura rested her head on her hand, delighted with the macabre tale.

“Steph and Cass have read it. Talia. Maybe Alfred. Bruce, apparently” he counted with his fingers.

Laura changed her demeanour suddenly and brought her finger to her ear. Then eyed him and mumbled something into her mic.

“It seems some of your relatives have called the program. Do you want to talk to them now?” he saw hope in her eyes. They must be doing the deal of the year.

“Depends on who’s calling”

“It’s your sister, Cassandra” she smiled when he nodded.

“Are we like, live?” that was definitely Stephanie whispering. He covered the smile in his mouth.

“Little brother” Cassandra spoke up “We are really proud and want success for you”

“And happiness” Steph chimed in “Stop pretending, I know you’re smiling, you dork”

He scoffed but complied.

“You are crazy” he shook his head and eyed the camera.

“Wait a sec, Jay” there was a fabric noise against the phone and then Alfred spoke.

“Master Jason, I’m proud and impressed due to your obvious literary skills. Make sure you come around to talk about my favorite poems of your book. I’m baking you cookies” he just could hear the gentle smile. For a second he could smell the Manor kitchen, feel the cold granite of the kitchen isle beneath his thighs, legs hanging in the air while he chattered away with Alfred. His vision blurred.

“Whenever you’re free, Alfie” he refused to acknowledge the wavering tone coming out of his mouth.

“Let me get to the phone” that was Bruce in the background. Jason tensed and clenched his fists on the armrests.

“Not now” oh, did he love Cassandra.

“You have to forgive me, there seems to be a ruckus here” Alfred sounded clipped.

“Alfred, don’t-“ the phone call ended.

“I’d say this has been enlightening” Laura was having the time of her life “I would spend two more programs interviewing you but all great things come to an end”

“I’m glad I came here” Vicki Vale would have made him stay for two more programs. They’d have chewed him out.

“Be sure, you all who are watching us, to buy this beautiful person’s book called Sorry That I Let You Down, under the name of Whine Heir” she turned to face him and smiled kindly “The only question that’s left is: who is your favorite superhero?”

“Is that even a real question?” he scoffed “Wonder Woman. She could punch me in the face and I’d thank her”

The audience cheered and applauded when he made his way out of the set waving and smiling.

He didn’t really know if he had done the right thing coming to the interview.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? Suggestions? Complaints? Constructive criticism?


End file.
